


A Standard of Paris

by Jean_grantaire



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Canon Era, Drabble, Gen, terrible puns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-26
Updated: 2016-05-26
Packaged: 2018-07-10 10:25:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6980494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jean_grantaire/pseuds/Jean_grantaire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Grantaire's parents refuse his various claims of engagement to Paris, the King, Jeanne D'Arc and Irma Boissy, and arrange something more suitable. Joly and Bossuet are wonderful friends.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Standard of Paris

"Gentlemen, today we witness the death of philosophy and the meeting of science to Madame Guillotine." Grantaire declared, dragging a nearby chair to one of the few occupied tables in the Musain and helping himself to the remaining half of Joly's glass of wine.   
"You are cheated by Lady Luck once more?" Joly's tone was slightly muffled by his tongue, which he was currently checking the colour of in Bossuet's (predictably cracked) pocket mirror, although it did little to hide the warm yet unsympathetic tone to his words.  
Grantaire shook his head at that, his expression turning to one of disgust, although it remained impossible to tell whether his reaction was to Joly's words or the realisation of the brand of wine, which was quite purposefully one of his least favourites. "Do not speak to me of any lady." His words captured the interest of both other men, and they turned to Grantaire in anticipation of the speech surely about to trip off his tongue. Instead, they received very few words. "I am to be wed."  
This was met by a silence which stretched and grew across several moments, broken only by the arrival of a couple of bottles of unreasonably expensive wine, and with them a tentative response. "You?"   
"Aye." It was too poor a pun for even their drunkest standards, although mercifully overlooked for the uncomfortably serious situation which had birthed it. "I am above the urges of both gods and kings by the account of my mother: of the three categories put both here and there, I am to be held to the highest light and expected to reflect it as some precious gem. Cheerfully! I will reflect the light into their eyes and blind them and my hopeless old witch of a bride in one burst. I will be denied the second circle of Hell on their account, to be instead thrown to the ninth! Ah, Dante, I would deny his dizzy mind myself were it not for the fear of being demoted from nine to six."   
And so he went on for another ten minutes and half a bottle, until he was tempted by a peace offering from Bossuet, completed by a calming hand on his arm.   
"What, then, of your current engagement, capital R?"  
"An engagement proven less than engaging to your audience." This was almost enough to have them giggling despite the serious situation, the gravity dissolving enviably quickly from such a situation where it had hardly belonged to start with.   
"Ah, the woes of an engagement which does not present me so otherwise-engaged as to disengage my parents from the ideal of an heir." Grantaire agreed, his expression mischievous even as he reached to refill his cup.   
"An engaging tale." Bossuet agreed solemnly, causing Joly to finally burst into giggles. It was an unfair advantage, Grantaire decided, given that when caught in such a mood the sight of Lesgle's solemn expression alone had proved itself hilarious to Joly, although he ignored it with only mildly poor grace for the unbearably sweet scene they painted when the laughter of one so served to crease and fold the expression of the other with happiness as it did now. "You are outrageous cheats." He grumbled, sulking resolutely for the entire two seconds it took for words to flow to his mouth once more.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first thing I've written that I liked enough to post, so be nice! Find me to chat or prompt etc at jean-grantaire on tumblr :)


End file.
